Condo Hilarity

So this weekend I threw myself into the whole -- Should buy a condo? -- idea / situation.

After a few viewings at condos, and hours on the internet I thought I was ready to dive in, and "make an offer"

I find that the whole real estate market is full of buzz words, bad similes, and analogies. The worst display of this is in the coveted property listing. This a world where closets transformed into additional rooms are described as lovely "semi-attached dens" with "natural sunlight". Or where an "urban view" may, or may not consist of a collection of dumpsters containing building supplies.

In a short meeting at a coffee shop with a Francophone real estate agent I somehow asked a few too many questions about condo fees, and the seemingly large difference between the 2009 "assessment" price, and the "listed" price. These questions were met with snarly answers about the neighborhood, and how it was a great place to raise children. Neither of these responses were desirable.

Once it was found out I had been pre-approved for a mortgage (obviously this was my error to disclose such a thing) I suddenly had a pre-agreement contract and a document with a lot of prestigious stamps and blurry fonts in front on me.

Needless to say he mentioned repeatedly that I had to act now - as this property was , as they call it in the industry, a "bijou caché" (hidden gem)

So... I said I would look at the document and have my lawyer (friends who are smarter than I) take a look and arrange a meeting early on in the week.

I left the coffee shop, and retreated to a hipster restaurant up the road in search of a drink injected with any kind of available alcohol. As I was still trying to decipher what had just taken place, if I had been swindled or just unprepared, an email arrived. It explained that they had another client sign the pre-contract, and essentially that I was no longer in the running.

For some reason I think I was more relieved than disappointed. Or maybe I was just dazed.

I'm sure I'll find another "garden view" or a place perfect for "independent living" sometime soon.