I woke this afternoon to a voice. It sounded foreign, raspy, and deep resounding through me. It was almost James Earl Jones-esque from 'Field of Dreams' with a british twang. At first I was unsure if I was still dreaming, or if I was just having a post nap groggy patch. But what I am sure about is that something spoke to me. And one line came across pretty clearly... - "Head up. You only have one shot at this kid...."
Now I can spend years debating why that message was conveyed, or more freakishly who or what was conveying it. But right now (at least) I prefer to not dissect the medium. The one thing that has continued to resound with me is that - I have never before in my life needed to hear something so badly.
With drool still in the corners of my mouth this message threw me into a spiral of thought. It re-emphasized that I again was wasting life complaining about the controllables. Bitching about things that I simply could improve if I sat down and listened to myself, and implemented a solution. I can change what I eat for breakfast, where I work, whom I love, or what toothpaste I do so decide to use. I can modify my appearance, and determine whom I confide in - This is all in my locus of control.
So I guess there is one important follow up - and surprise surprise - it's simple. There are things that I can't control. But it's more-so the realization that this is normal. That I'm not the only one who has to submit. We are all in the same boat about the weather, our mortality, or the fact that we all have emotions. This will not change.
By recommitting to the compartmentalizing of my life I have made abundantly clear what I should see as things to solve, and what I need to accept. This has kind of cleared up a few things for me, and lifted a huge anvil of stress off of my shoulders. Hopefully this will allow me to keep my head up and focus on this one shot.
