PONDERINGS.... Just sometimes

life throws your curve-balls, and leads you into spirals. Each with their own consequences, and ramifications. Some that one just can't control, but most that one can manage, or wade through.

As great as this life is - there are moments, and things that we wish we could change, imperfections that we long to modify. Most frequently it's the continual desire to change those around us, and change qualities in others to be more like our own selves.

But rarely is the sight on the pistol of change targeted on ourselves. Because it's easier to judge variables that don't touch our inner-selves or, better yet, share the same airspace - and why should we even worry about perforating our soft and cushy feelings ? ..... potentially self improvement? "Why take the risk." we mutter.

It's these choices, and situations that all of us wish that we could relive on that rare Monday evening, and - as mentioned above - it's these moments that we pray that we could erase or eliminate completely.

Hopefully at some point we remember, embrace, and carry them along with us. Often though, we wipe them in an effort to completely overlook our weak, and vulnerable moments. This denial is comforting as it keeps us focussed walking onward without guilt, nor worry. The silly thing is that later on we will eventually awake from the haze. Realizing that we have walked the same road, toed the same line, or sang the same chorus multiple times.

So what am I thankful for this thanksgiving? My ability to call myself out about my own shit. In an attempt to rip the scabs from the flesh, in an effort to cleanse the wound permanently. Knowingly not in an effort to hide the scars, but rather to embrace the fact that that I have fully healed.

Best Purchase of 2010

Simply put - it's my feather bed.

A feather bed is an add on to the normal bed. Essentially it's an additional layer of comfortable awesomeness that you add on top of your already amazing mattress. It offers a sinking sensation when one settles down, and it drops me into the deepest sleep imaginable. I shift less, and my shoulders don't hurt in the morning if I do fall asleep in the fetal position.

So.... when you are shopping don't fall for the industries tricks. Go direct to the manufacturer, and save about 40% on the total price. Also this will most likely be the first time in your life that NAFTA does anything for you. You will not pay one cent of taxes because a luxury item can, apparently, only be made in California, and can be sent anywhere in North America in about 5 business days.

If you happen to stay at a boutique hotel - Sofitel, Peninsula, Crowne, De Crillion you can try one out for a night and you will understand how this will change your life. Sleep in a hotel bed every night of your life. A good nights sleep is worth a dollar or two a night no? Why not save up and make each morning feel like you actually got some good rest.

Check out this site to buy directly from the source - https://www.pacificcoast.com

Worst Purchase of 2010

Although I don't have much knowledge to share with... well anyone... most of the time - I figured I would shed some light on the worst purchases of my 2010 thus far.

Worst:

I found myself in a moment of weakness. It was the end of January and I had overspent my projected "budget". I was regretting the excessive tab at night club the weekend prior and I was shaken at the loss of my coffee shop loyalty card 7 stamps deep. Just one stamp before the free and well earned cappuccino.

The worst implication of this depressing feeling is when you visit the grocery store. Fake macaroni and cheese - the no name brand - suddenly becomes a fantastic savings opportunity, and the juice with "artificial flavor" starts looking like a leading beverage candidate. I really hit rock bottom when I began to run the price per ply equation in the toiler paper section. Now I am not always a cheapskate, but I , as we had a moment of doltishness. I made a horrible mistake.

I made the presumption that the "Grocery Store Home Brand" two ply is kind of close to Cotonelle. "Like it can't be that different can it?" I reasoned to myself while spindling the cart in the aisle. My frugal conscious continued in convincing myself into purchasing the ultra-saver-48 roll pack - "Why not? You'll end up thanking yourself."

Let's just say my life has unfurled since this purchase. Scratchy cleanups, panic from house guests, and even ribbings from my family - that I wasn't 'taking care' of myself. All over the one second decision - to save approximately 12 cents a roll.

I have 4.5 rolls left in this gritty adventure - please don't make the same mistake.

late night ramblings...

why must the internet keep me awake, and keep my brain occupied well into the night....

why oh why?

www.stumbleupon.com

I think I need to start a support group

Condo Hilarity

So this weekend I threw myself into the whole -- Should buy a condo? -- idea / situation.

After a few viewings at condos, and hours on the internet I thought I was ready to dive in, and "make an offer"

I find that the whole real estate market is full of buzz words, bad similes, and analogies. The worst display of this is in the coveted property listing. This a world where closets transformed into additional rooms are described as lovely "semi-attached dens" with "natural sunlight". Or where an "urban view" may, or may not consist of a collection of dumpsters containing building supplies.

In a short meeting at a coffee shop with a Francophone real estate agent I somehow asked a few too many questions about condo fees, and the seemingly large difference between the 2009 "assessment" price, and the "listed" price. These questions were met with snarly answers about the neighborhood, and how it was a great place to raise children. Neither of these responses were desirable.

Once it was found out I had been pre-approved for a mortgage (obviously this was my error to disclose such a thing) I suddenly had a pre-agreement contract and a document with a lot of prestigious stamps and blurry fonts in front on me.

Needless to say he mentioned repeatedly that I had to act now - as this property was , as they call it in the industry, a "bijou caché" (hidden gem)

So... I said I would look at the document and have my lawyer (friends who are smarter than I) take a look and arrange a meeting early on in the week.

I left the coffee shop, and retreated to a hipster restaurant up the road in search of a drink injected with any kind of available alcohol. As I was still trying to decipher what had just taken place, if I had been swindled or just unprepared, an email arrived. It explained that they had another client sign the pre-contract, and essentially that I was no longer in the running.

For some reason I think I was more relieved than disappointed. Or maybe I was just dazed.

I'm sure I'll find another "garden view" or a place perfect for "independent living" sometime soon.

25 bucks a day & 5.5 Weeks of Sober

25 bucks a day has been an initiative I have been trying dearly to stick by for about 2 months. Essentially the rules are quite rudimentary - After rent / cell phone / internet expenses- I attempt to hold daily expenses to 25 dollars.

It's proven a little difficult, but for the most part, excluding traveling expenses, I've pretty much towed the line. The major challenges I've found are late night eating, and the lack of judgement when inebriated, or when you have forgotten to plan for an outing and douchebags charge you $8 bucks for a hotdog. I've definitely lapsed many a times, but I think I have had 5 or 6 weeks within the budgeting constraints, and because of it I've been able to put a bunch of my cash into RRSP's.

My best tips into keeping this feasible are the following.

1.) Spend less than $5 for every weekday lunch
Make sammies, go to the grocery store, pack leftovers, or steal from Brad's lunchbox.(If you don't know Brad meet him and commence mooching)

2.) Cook Food In mass for future meals
Pasta, Stews, and anything in a pot can be delicious - even a few days later. The freezer is also your friend.

3.) Water bottles are the new cool
For water and other recreational beverages it's a key player. Flasks and gatorade energy drink mixes are equally ridiculous.

4.) Brunch is the greatest meal to eat out
Eat like a king for like 15 bucks. Grease, ketchup, and mimosas. Need I say more?

5.) Don't be an introverted idiot.
Save up 80 bucks every week for hilarity on the town each weekend. If you save it - you'll party 19 times as hard.

6.) God gave you 2 feet.
Don't taxi unless a cop tells you that you must. Metros (subways) are also hilariously cheap and amazing for people watching.

There are some things that I miss, and in all honesty I will be buying many of these items this weekend. After 2 months I just can't live without them. Notably: Dry Cleaning, Steak, New shoes, Shaving Materials (that don't cut my face), Fancy Hair Goop, and Oven Mitts.

Since my last posts I have returned to drinking of alcohol after a good 45 day period of cleansing. It was an eye opening experience, and I don't regret partaking in the spell of sobriety, nor stopping the cleanse itself. Going to a bar sober definitely has taught me a few observational lessons, and my liver continues to write me thank you notes for giving it some alone time. It's also brought to my forefront how alcohol dependent our world has really become. I was never an alcoholic or anything, for those who were concerned - ahem family, but I do think that moderation is probably the lesson learned out of all of this. Everything but some crazy examples are never horrible in moderation.

I do have to admit that drinking a relaxing glass of wine with friends or family was probably the one thing I missed most.

awesome