The thing about time

Life can pass you by.

Moments speed past,

Whilst memories certainly fade.

The perception of time is every changing.

But the true essence of time is what we make it.

I think it's (time) a constant reminder for all of us.

The perpetual finite aspect of aging, maturing, growing old, dying.

But also the daily prioritization of things we ought to do,

people we ought to spend moments with,

activities that ought to make life better for us and those around us.

I suppose I'm beginning to challenge myself to use time more wisely.

In a hope to use it exclusively for the purposes that are empowering and enabling.

It's been a while ...

It seems that a lot of my reflective moments appear when my physical body starts to break down. Whether it due to sickness or distress I often turn to some sort of expression. Currently I am ill.

The last 48 hours have been a feverish nightmare of sweat and chills, but for some odd reason I've found some sanctitude in the slowed pace and capacity. I've been able to think clearly in the little time that i've been awake.

I am in a good place in life, but worry that I am not living up to what I expect myself to achieve and impact. I can do more, I can help more, I can influence good more. I think I've realized that the vices in my life, albeit self entertaining, are just selfish pieces that don't need to be played. I need to push more and drive to the ultimate goals in humanity - and less so the goals of the month, week, or evening.

It's time to plan a new line of attack. But first - time to go back to sleep and get healthy.

Sick.

Sick.

Surrounded by wrinkled sheets and soiled kleenexes. Body aching and mind wandering.

Sick.

Left alone with your thoughts, with your feelings, with your ailments. Weakness and vulnerablity and the understanding that life may be able to penetrate your soul through oh too many distractions.

Sick.

Befuddled by recently unfelt emotions. Tears, pain, and the overall inability to do things that are typically unthought about. Emotion coupled with the feeling that certain acts in life are less important. Perhaps a brief understanding that life is about people.

Sick?

Awake at night introspectively wondering what may come next and battling with how to put the pieces in motion.

Healing.

Gauging your potential.

How much do you have left in the tank?

How bad do you "want" it?

Where can we build towards?

Is a dream a dream when you break it down to continual possibility and preparation?

Why do I feel that I need to know my potential? Why do I feel that foundational changes are needed to do so.

Slow down but don't stop the show.

Amplify the show, but keep in touch with the necessary tempo, speed, and sound.

It's always too late, somewhere.

Somehow it's never too early to tell or to be sure.

I await the day where I long for everything and I don't wish for other outcomes or requirements.

Somedays I wish and long for the past, and at other moments I wish that things would stand still.

Perhaps I wish that things would slow down, but the music would continue to play.

it's too late.

Imagine it's too late.

You time is limited, your breaths are numbers, your luck has run out. Time has somehow passed by and you're at the end of this lifetime.

It's a powerless and real thought. Just pause for a moment to put this in perspective. Think about how infuriated you feel when your boss makes a decision for you, when you get lost, or you have to wait on something for an hour or two.

Then multiply that feeling by an gazillion. That's how you might feel when you're lying on your death bed wishing you didn't lead a sucky and uneventful life.

So don't worry about waiting for life to find you. Go find it. Live it and love those around you.

Don't wait until that last moment, when it might be too late.

Porcupines, Elephants, and Ants

Porcupines are hurtful little beings. Their translucent quills are made to pierce the skin. From a far they appear to be harmless, yet damage can only be unleashed from a close proximity.

Elephants are truly loud and obnoxious beings. Somehow they prance through circles annoying most but leaving the surrounding crowd smiling at their larger than life personality.

Ants are thoughtful, cunning, and efficient. In groups they move molehills or mountains little by little. They are often undervalued and overlooked. Their impact is reviewed and continually judged, deemed unworthy of attention or gratitude.